But being the leader isn't nearly as much fun as an adult as it was as a kid. A few years ago I read a book by Bob Farr called Renovate or Die. The main theme of the book is to help churches get refocused on their mission. One of the main things that Farr points out is that the pastor really is responsible for getting the renovation done. And it's not always a fun thing to do. One particular quote has stuck with me. He says, "If you lead, you bleed." I have discovered that to be true.
I used to think that leadership could be learned. But I'm not so sure about that anymore. Leadership is a lot more about making decisions that may or may not be popular with the crowd. It's about weighing as many of your options as you can before acting. It's about listening carefully to as many ideas, opinions, and voices as you can so that you can weigh your options. Leadership is about doing the best you can to do what's in the best interest of everyone. Leadership isn't about popularity. And so leadership is hard.
The frustrating thing about the last few months is the lack of focus; the lack of unity. With social distancing and many people choosing to stay home, it's almost impossible to listen to people. I find it interesting that a lot of people have told me how well I've lead our church through this pandemic. But I really don't think I have. I've made mistakes. I've doubted decisions. I continue to have anxiety about what Aldersgate will look like post-Covid. So I'm not quite as confident in my leadership as others have been.
I suppose the most I can say is that I've done what has had to be done. Nothing more. Maybe some day I'll learn how to be a better leader. But I doubt it. Because I still say that leadership can't be taught. It's simply done.
+Grace and Peace,
Dustin
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