Well Shut My Mouth

Last week I posted my set of rules to live by as a pastor.  If you remember, I have two rules about communication.  Rule #26 and Rule #27 both help to remind me about the importance of communicating with others.  I broke Rule #27 the other day.

The problem all started when Haskell UMC booked two Friday night events back-to-back.  This Friday is homecoming and our church is sponsoring the 5th Quarter after the ballgame.  Since it is the first event, the 5th Quarter has been on my mind the last few weeks.  The other big event that our church is sponsoring is the pre-game meal on October 7th.  This is a great fundraiser for our church and it takes a lot of preparation and a lot of help from several different people.  The other day after church one of my wonderful parishioners came up to me and said that she and her good friend have helped with the meal and they have a file folder with all of the information in it.  She said "pre-game meal" but I heard "5th Quarter."  So here is the conversation that took place between us.

Parishioner: "Pastor, I have all of the information we need to get everything done for our meal."
Me:  "Well, I talked with some of the parents and they don't want to serve a meal this year."
Parishioner: "Why not?"
Me:  "They said there was a lot of left overs last year and that we should just serve chips and dip and cookies this year."
Parishioner: "We didn't have a lot of left overs last year.  In fact, we ran out of food and we need to make extra this year.  Besides I'm not sure people will pay $7.00 a ticket for chips and dip."
Me: We charge people to come?"
Parishioner: "We have to charge people, this is a fundraiser for our church."
Me: "I thought it was just a ministry that we did for the community."
(Awkward Silence)
Parishioner: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "The 5th Quarter.  What are you talking about?"
Parishioner: "The pre-game meal."

Happily, it ended up being no big deal and we had a good laugh about it.  But, this conversation reinforced the need to communicate with people.  Just because we were talking does not mean that we were communicating.  Many times, that is what ends up happening.  We do more talking than we do listening and then nothing gets done because no one knows what is going on.

Even though this time it turned out well, it does not mean that it always does.  Sometimes we get so busy talking and don't listen that the situation escalates until people get mad at one another and feelings get hurt.  Many times, relationships are hurt and friendships ruined because of poor communication.  What's worse is when someone intentionally causes a rift.  Scripture is full of warnings and truths that come about due to us talking too much and not listening enough.  Here are a few to consider:

"The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly."-Proverbs 15:2
"The mind of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil."-Proverbs 15:28
"The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked what is perverse."-Proverbs 10:32
"The mouths of fools are their ruin, and their lips a snare to themselves."-Proverbs 18:7

Our words are very important.  They can build others up and they can tear others down.  Our words can proclaim the gospel message of Jesus Christ or they can advance the enemy of God's Holy Kingdom.  James warns us that we should tame our tongue; he also admits that it is very difficult to do.  "With it (our tongue) we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so."--James 3:9-10.  But just because something is difficult that does not mean that we must stop trying.  We have to continue to depend on the Holy Spirit to purify us in all areas.  We must continue to push forward in our faith journey and allow ourselves to be transformed more fully into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

Communicating and speaking wholesome words are so important in our everyday life.  As Christians, our words and our discussions should be focused on listening more than we speak, weighing our words carefully before we speak, and then only speaking after we know what we are talking about.  I know I've been guilty of poor communication and talking too rashly.  However, by the grace of God I am getting better.  Until next time...

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